My life without Patrick

Then on July 2, 2016, Hazel Ann-Marie Manning’s world turned upside down when her love of almost 50 years, Patrick Augustus Mervyn Manning, died at the San Fernando General Hospital of acute myeloid leukaemia - a type of blood cancer - six weeks before his 70th birthday.

In a candid interview, Hazel Manning described the past year as one filled with “self-discoveries” in which she was able to “get out there and bravely do a number of things” which would have previously been done by her husband.

“Its’ been very difficult…its’ been a difficult year.

“You know you don’t realise it until he is not there, he would have done that and this would have happened and you now have to dive in and do a whole number of things,” she said, adding, “You just took for granted that this would be done and I remember the insurance guy say ‘You have any insurance?’ and I didn’t have a clue.” She also sorely misses the companionship that comes from over 40 years of marriage saying there was no one she could “seriously and genuinely” speak to about her concerns.

“You have to be careful who you talk to (and) what you say and (sometimes you) don’t even know if the response you’re getting back are the correct ones or they’re just being polite.” Asked what she remembers most about him, Manning said, “His laughter and how happy the house was. I remember the neighbours saying I don’t hear him. You would sit next door and you would hear him laughing whether he was on the phone, whether he was making jokes, he was that upbeat.

“He always had people visiting and there was always laughing and talking. He loved to entertain, he was very much a people’s person. He loved people.” She said her sons Brian and David had also been devastated by their father’s death. This has not only strengthened the family unit, but they have become very protective of her.

MY OWN BUSINESS They had also fully supported her when she launched her consultancy firm - The Leadership Firm - a few years before her husband’s death.

“When we were in Washington, one of the things they did, they said to me ‘You know you need to work out your own life’, and I think that was part of the therapy. And Patrick actually sat with me and worked it through,” she said, adding, “We did a lot of things, what to do, how to do this, etc. And as I started, he’s the one I went to most of the time and asked how to put this in place, ‘What you think I should do here?’ “In the setting up of it he gave a lot of advice and I think about four years ago I started my business and at this point in time, that’s what I do. There are about six of us involved and we do strategic planning, leadership (and) coaching. So we go into an organisation, we identify what the issues are and we coach where leadership is concerned,” she said as she shot down rumours of her possibly re-entering the public arena.

“There are different leadership styles and we show you how to work your style, identify team issues and show you how to work as a team. We don’t just do a plan, we help you implement a plan.” NOT AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN YET Asked whether this meant she was now an independent woman, she laughed before saying, “No, I have two sons who carry on as if they are my husband and father all in one.

“So I don’t know how independent I am. I still have to account to them, would you believe? (They would ask) ‘Where are you going?’ and I say ‘What on earth is this?’” she said, still chuckling.

“Overprotective.” So what about grandchildren? She again laughed before saying, “Those guys? I don’t know what happen to them….” And what about her health? “I am very well as far as I know.

It’s how you live life too. I exercise almost daily, check what I eat, I’m very positive, I’m not down, I take things in stride.

“Just not a whole lot of sugar and oil, eating near the farm as they would say, a lot of fresh things, not a whole lot of cakes and sweets and things like that.

And where we live there are all these hills. We walk along here almost daily, a group of us. Eating and exercise, that is my medicine.” HIS LEGACY And what would she say is her husband’s greatest legacy? “His desire for the development of Trinidad and Tobago so that Trinidad and Tobago can become, as he put it, a first world nation, meaning that it becomes more efficient (and) that people live a quality life. That was his desire. That people don’t have to suffer. They could have easily, as they do in developed countries, move from one area to the next - easy transportation, business done quickly, stay home and bank and shop, effective and quality living. “That was his desire and he was very much worried about disadvantaged people. Poverty didn’t have to be the be all and end all. How I then move you out of poverty and into another level (is what he was about).” And towards the end of his life, she said her husband dove deeper into the Bible. “He knew this day was coming. He was always religious.

He would read his Bible three, four times a day. He would discuss a lot about the Bible. He upgraded the home and, in hindsight, he was preparing us for what would happen.”