No fish lips for me

These days, everyone tries this sexy picture pose that looks staged and fake.

Everything from the positioning of the body to the expression on the face looks dopey — not sexy. They even have selfie sticks now. I can’t imagine carrying a selfie stick around. I don’t even want to carry a handbag around.

So I keep asking myself what’s wrong with looking natural? What’s wrong with taking pictures that look spontaneous? To make matters worse, people search for all kinds of unnatural places to take pictures.

This is why you have people falling off of cliffs or falling into manholes. The other day, I saw someone climb into the rock fountain at the Hilton and sit on her boyfriend’s lap just to take a picture. It never once occurred to me that I should climb inside of a fountain and sit on someone’s lap to take a picture.

Actually, I miss the days when people answered their phones in the privacy of their own homes. I miss that state of wonder we once had when we called someone and asked ourselves, “Will he answer the phone?” For a long time, I avoided having a cellphone because I didn’t want to be one of those selfie- snapping people calling someone every minute.

Admittedly, I have threatened over the years to be the last person in the world to buy one of those awful gadgets.

I refused the free iPhone my daughter wanted to give me even though it had cool glitter and stars swimming around in the case that covered the back of the phone. She kept threatening me.

“I’m giving you the phone when I get a new phone.” In the end, I took the phone, not because of anything she said.

A dog actually convinced me to get the phone. I would explain that, but it would take too long.

So, I keep charging the cell phone. Sometimes I remember to answer it when it rings, which isn’t often because I really don’t advertise that I have a cell phone now. Shhhhh. I’m depending on you to keep my secret.

I put my audiobooks on my phone, but I feel like my iPod feels neglected so I continue to listen to audiobooks on my iPod.

This is all good because I have managed to keep my sense of self-control, which most people tend to throw out once they get a cellphone.

I don’t want to be one of those people with fish lips who texts every minute either. No fish lips for me. My solemn promise to myself is never to check my email on my phone. So far so good. And I don’t want to be one of those people who becomes oblivious to everything around me because I’m texting or talking on my phone every minute. I just want to be me — not an extension of an electronic device. By the way, I hate texting because it makes me feel dumb.

There was a time when people used to walk down the road and look at the trees blowing in the breeze. They used to daydream or plan their day. I am still one of those people.

T h a t ’ s why I’m noticing you’re always on your phone.