Yours Truly Defining a style that is personal to you

Have you ever looked with longing at women who always seem to have effortless style… that polished sophistication that you never quite manage to pull off? I know I have… countless times. Over the years, I have come to realise that for these gorgeous, enviable women, it all comes down to one significant factor: When it comes to style, they know exactly who they are. Their personal style is truly defined, and there is no compromise and no deviation.

Take Michelle Obama, for instance. Before you even see pictures of her latest outfit, you know she will either be wearing a “fit and flare” dress, a structured outfit with a well-defined waistline or a simple ensemble pulled together smartly by a statement belt. And of course, nine times out of ten, her best feature is on display. After all, her husband did say that she had the “right to bare arms”

Look for Inspiration

This is the easy part. We all have our favourite style icons whose looks we admire. List your top five and what you like about their looks. Maybe you like Kourtney Kardashian’s bohemian flair, but you also like her the way her sister Khloe’s style has evolved into glamorous bombshell. Also, don’t be afraid to look closer to home. Perhaps Patrice Robert’s street style resonates with you (she’s been killing it lately, baby bump and all… I should know, I follow her on Instagram). Whatever it is that you like, jot it down.

Visualisation is key

I am a firm believer of the school of thought that expounds on the virtues of visualisation. You need a constant reminder of your goals in order to achieve them. To this end, I suggest you make a style board. The Internet and the technological heaven that we live in will facilitate this project beautifully. I have one word for you… Pinterest. If you have not joined, join. Once you’re signed up, start pinning your favourite styles. You can create a secret board, no one needs to know your business. You can also save your favourite images to your computer, flash drive, or print them and paste to a physical board, like I did in the picture below. Yes, that’s me. You didn’t think I would write a topic beginning with “Yours truly” and not include an image of yours truly in the article, did you?

It’s Time to clean House

This is where the task at hand becomes tedious. It’s worth it though, I promise. Take a long, hard look at your closet. The contents of most wardrobes can usually be broken down into three categories. Firstly, there will be clothes that you find yourself wearing continuously. These are your feel good clothes. You wear them often because they fit well, flatter your body type and make you feel like a million bucks. You get the most compliments when you wear them.

Secondly, there are clothes that you look good in and feel good wearing, but you cannot put them on every day. These are your special event pieces, or as the old people say, “your going out clothes”.

Lastly -and for some reason, this category takes up the most space in our closets – there are clothes that you bought because they were in fashion; you really liked how they looked in the store, but when you came home, your mirror told you the truth. These are the “What was I thinking” clothes. What about the outfits that you’re keeping for when you lose the elusive ten pounds? I know about this only too well!

Are you with me so far? By now you should have three separate piles. Bid adieu to the last category. There’s absolutely no room for irrelevance in your life!

Consider your lifestyle

Your lifestyle should have a tremendous impact on your personal style. Do you have a corporate job and spend most of your day in the office? Do you spend your day outdoors? Are you a stay-at-home mom who chauffeurs her children to and from school and a plethora of extra-curricular activities? What percentage of your time is spent running errands? Your personal style should reflect these factors. The wardrobe of a graphic artist for instance, will be poles apart from that of a bank manager.

Acceptable F words

There are two “F words” that should become your daily mantra. Whatever your style, your clothes should Flatter your body type and Fit well. There are two common sink holes that we tend to fall into when shopping for clothes. I’ve mentioned the first sinkhole before; we tend to buy what is fashionable, what is trending, and it has been my personal experience that most times, what is trending, is not flattering to my body type.

Figuring out what is flattering to your body type is an exercise of trial and error, but we’ve all gone through this motion and most of us, if not all, know the types of clothes that we look good in. My advice is to stick to this template. This is your style bible… Do not digress from its path.

The second sinkhole is our obsession with size. So what if you’re not a small anymore. Why squeeze yourself into a medium when you will look perfect in a large? Size is just a label, and no one cares when you have on an outfit that flatters your body type and fits you well. Flatter and Fit… F words to “swear” by

Be Authentic

If you’ve followed the tips I’ve shared so far, you should be well on your way to defining your personal style. I would like you, however, to ask yourself a question. Is your personal style really you or are you forcing your personality into a style category? This is an easy trap to fall prey to, but it is also an equally easy mess to get out of… quickly. You have to stay true to you. There are styles that you may admire and that’s all you should do with them… admire from afar. They are not you. In the same way someone who has Rihanna’s edgy street grunge style will look out of place trying to pull off Taylor Swift’s preppy, clean good girl persona, you have no business testing out a style does not represent your true self.

I began this discourse by noting that we all have women who we look upon with awe and envy, because of their unfailing sophistication and style. I will conclude by saying that all of these women have one common attribute that sets them apart from the rest of us. They have a level of confidence that flows from every fibre of their bodies… and outfits. When all is said and done; when we’ve identified and defined our personal style, confidence is the one attribute that we must adopt, if we are to succeed in pulling the whole sophisticated look together.

As one of my style icons, designer Diane Von Furstenburg once said, “Confidence…if you have it, you can make anything look good”. So be stylish, be confident, but most of all, be you.