I know I'm Beautiful, Thanks!

STACI: What do y’all ladies think? Is accepting a compliment with a simple “thanks” or “I know” – confident or cocky?

KIMBA: I think it’s how you say it too (tone /body language) determines how cocky it really is. I think depends on the man, he may like it or he may not. I think the choices are too blanket a statement for me.

Strange enough I don’t really like to be complimented unless I agree with it and when I disagree the man usually expresses annoyance that I don’t just receive the compliment.

TAMZ: I think it’s just manners to say thank you, like thank you for noticing.

MEL: Hmmm, cocky – yes. Unless you want the fella to move on hence you giving him the b**ch attitude in the first place!

RONZ: We women have been taught to behave and respond in certain ways and so when we don’t, people (especially men) get all up in their feelings. But really, why do I have to thank you for noticing? I think situations like this start to highlight the subtleties of social norms that are based on how men believe they should be. Depending what the compliment is, I’ve said, “I know” in the past. But why is it cocky? Why can’t we know something about us is nice? I know the standard/polite thing to do is smile and say thanks but really, why is it cocky so say thanks and agree or to agree and then say thanks?

RORS: For me it depends on what he compliment, how creepy he do it, and whether or not I care bout him occupying my time!

MEL: The right way to respond to a compliment is thank you! Not “this ole ting” or yeah I know. There should always be grace in us. The word “cocky” should also give you a hint – with a preface like “cock” it isn’t for us girls.

Like wrapping a present – you doh jes give people a present jes so. Well accepting a compliment is the same thing. Flutter those eyelashes and blush. If he annoying - yeah then reply with the “I know’, it will deter boys (not men) one time, unless of course they cocky too!

RONZ: I disagree, why is acknowledging some attractive quality about yourself being cocky?

STACI: A lot of men have very fragile egos and an empowered woman is somehow seen as threatening especially when her sense of self is not dependent on his approval. A lot of times when “men” give a woman a compliment it’s a stranger, sooooo most times I personally want said “stranger dude” to move along. However, saying thank u in a neutral tone is still as offensive to some men as saying it bitchily.

MEL: I like genuine compliments - like if someone says “ya weird but ya sexy, ya know”, that’s genuine. Don’t hit me with the “I love that shade of white t-shirt you’re wearing tonight”!

KIMBA: If someone compliments me on my hair I believe them.

MEL: And graciously say thank you!

STACI: But a compliment should not be given as a means to keep women “in their place” especially if she’s doesn’t reply shyly and blushingly “thank you”. Listen allyuh must try it; I do it all the time. Eg, random man: omg you’re so tall and beautiful. Me: I know.

MEL: Hahahahaha that’s so you eh. More like 170,000+ in the English Language and tall and beautiful is what you chose? Sigh. Tell me something my mirror doesn’t, fool!

RORS: That comes across as an observation so I give u 100% right for agreeing. It’s a fact for crying out loud. Now if he said, “I love how tall and beautiful you are!” Then I may politely respond with a thank you or, kind of you to say.

KIMBA: I think that responses are judged dependent on the personality of the man. If ever there is a red flag indicator of men to avoid this could be one. If not accepting a compliment “the right way” is a trigger for him to get angry, annoyed, verbally or physically abusive, then he my friend is a toxic human to avoid at all costs.

STACI: Precisely, it usually weeds out the “weaksexist- stay-the-hell-away-from-me” kinda men.

MEL: Yes!!! Once I had a guy tell me “I love those shoes but I would prefer ‘em in a navy”. I was like well if you’re brave enough to come out the closet, maybe you can borrow ‘em. I mean, what does a man really expect post-compliment?

RORS: Sex. Duh.

STACI: Yes and yes. Sex or the possibility of sex is the motivation for many things some men do and say.

Even if they know it won’t happen in a million years, they still must try ah ting!

CHANELLE: And the funny thing is (I’ve noticed because I give men unsolicited compliments as well) when you compliment them, many times you have to then follow it up with “no I’m not asking you out or hitting on you sir I just really think you dress really well or your beard is sharp or your cologne is amazeballs” etc etc…

KIMBA: Yes!

CHANELLE: I compliment very dark skinned men on their skin from time to time because in my opinion when you see a deeply pigmented and radiated complexion it is beautiful so I give credit. But it doesn’t mean I trying to nyam down his Toblerone bar!

MEL: I compliment women a lot! A LOT! I love doing it too.

CHANELLE: So do I. I love beauty and it matters not from which sex it emits. So I make sure and tell a woman she’s looking on fire when I feel she is.

RORS: Women being able to compliment other women are definitely a prerequisite for a stable femmeship. If you can’t tell your friend she looks good and mean it, you need to do some introspection!

MEL: Agreed.

KIMBA: I’ve complimented even women I don’t know, like girlllll if your shiz is on point I’m gonna tell ya! The Girlfriends is a group of 15 women between the ages of 26 - 45 who are willing to give an unadulterated look into their own experiences. Some names have been changed for privacy