What a man needs

1. Soap: The classic cleanser, created when alkali and grease are mixed, has been detoxifying body parts since King Tut used it to scrub the stink from his pits. Bars like Ivory and Lever 2000 are only boring in a fresh-smelling, healthy-skin kind of way. Feeling wild and crazy? Get different sizes or scents for the shower and sink.

2. Toothpaste: Unless you live in certain European countries that shall remain nameless, Colgate, Crest, and company are pals from way back. As the commercials promise, keep the choppers polished (and give Mr. Tongue an occasional scour) and your sparkling smile will attract romance and repel the oral surgeon, unless she’s cute and single.

3. Dental floss: Continuing with the oral fixation, let us not forget to floss. Toothpaste’s tedious cousin will never boast triple-action stripes, but Aquafresh alone ain’t gonna snag every popcorn shell from Tuesday’s matinee. Plus, scientists speculate that a man free from between-teeth crud is less likely to have plaque gunking up his arteries.

4. Moisturizer: Rubbing a dab of unscented Vaseline Intensive Care or Lubriderm into your hands? Smart, unless your girlfriend prefers chapped hands. Works on feet and other scaly-skinned areas, too.

5. Sun block: Wrinkles are on a faraway horizon, so why slather on sun block?

Because with the ozone layer thinning fast the sun can, at worse, promote cancer. Shield exposed skin with some SPFs: 15 for daily doings, 30-plus for outside sports.

6. Antiperspirant: Everybody knows a lonely stoner who brags about never using deodorant, pointing out that sweating is how the body cools itself and expels toxins, and that antiperspirants might cause Alzheimer’s. We say, plug those underarm pores with evil chemicals, rather than risk odour and wet spots.

7. Shaving cream: Men who prefer bare skin to the ZZ Top look need a buffer between blade and dermis. Scrape smoothly with Edge gel (found in cans at drugstores), Kiehl’s cream (tubes, department stores), or any shaving product that softens, lubricates, and rinses away when whiskers are gone.

8. Shampoo: Over are the days when great-grandpa rubbed a bar of soap on his head; shampoo (the word stems from Hindi for "press") is a modern must-have. Stick with something simple - most of those fancy ingredients will end up down the drain - unless you crave built-in conditioner or a dandruff-busting potion.

9. Hair product: If you and your barber prefer a glop of gel or smear of pomade, avoid the over-lacquered look when selecting a hair product (please, just one!) and amount to apply (less is more).

10. Lip balm: So powerful is the threat of crusty lips that even macho men apply this lipstick-shape product. (Or they could just nab a pot of Carmex.) Think of the trusty ChapStick tube as bullet-size protection against sun, surf, and biting your lower lip.