No one owes you a gift

The bride writes the most creative thank-you note possible.

After that, the bride can do anything she wants with the present. Put it in a closet, smash it with a hammer in the backyard or give it to charity — just don’t tell the gift-giver what happened to their thoughtful gift.

Mentioning gifts in the invitation is another nuptial no-no, this also includes sending registry cards, asking for money in lieu of gifts or any other presumption that a gift will be given.

"No one owes you a gift because you’re getting married, and no one needs to be told where to get you a gift," says Gail Dunson, coauthor of Bridezilla: True Tales From Etiquette Hell and a certified protocol and etiquette consultant.

"Get it out of your pretty little head that you are owed gifts. People will give gifts because we will toss them into Etiquette Hell if they don’t."

"A registry is fine as long as you don’t advertise it," she clarified. "If people want to know where the bride is registered, people will ask."

"It’s fine to put on the invitation, ‘No gifts please.’ Anything other than that leads the guests to think something else," she said.

BRIDESMAID BLUNDERS

Because bridesmaid responsibilities generally include buying an outfit, planning the wedding shower, getting a gift for the shower and finding a gift for the wedding, the honour can be quite costly.

"Bridesmaids need to realise that saying yes carries responsibilities of time and resources," Gail said. "It’s more than pictures and parties. It’s an expensive proposition."

What if the bridesmaids aren’t up to the challenge?

"You do not want a pain in the butt on your wedding day. There are enough details to take care of. You don’t want someone uncooperative," she said.

"The bride can ask her to step down, but doing so is usually a friendship breaker," she said.

When ousting a bothersome bridesmaid, be honest, talk about your concerns, but don’t blatantly ask her to step down, Gail said. See what you can do to make her job easier, or give her the chance to bow out. If she can’t spare the necessary time and money, maybe she would be better suited to simply coordinating a party or being an usher.

"You really have to be diplomatic if you want to preserve the friendship," Dunson cautions.

But, the biggest bridesmaid blunder isn’t always on the bridesmaid’s part. Sometimes the bride herself is the one trampling on good taste.

Choosing dresses will be biggest decision the bride and bridesmaids do together, Dunson said, and she has some tips for the bride before the big shopping trip.

"Do some pre-shopping, but don’t get set on any ideas," she said.

Instead, let your attendants have a say in the outfits they have to wear.

"These are not Barbie dolls to dress up. These are your friends. They need to look nice and be comfortable," she said. "It’s not about the dress, it’s about the friends."

She suggests choosing outfits from the same designer line so everyone can find a style they feel confident in — a style that suits their body.

"If the bridesmaids look gorgeous, the bride is going to look gorgeous," she said. "If the bridesmaids don’t look good, I guarantee tongues are going to be wagging. The bride is the one who ends up looking ugly for her attitude."