These are familiar words for many of us growing up in our parents’ home. But these same words can take on a much altered meaning when spoken by our spouse. They can be a manifestation or source of anger or resentment and represent acute frustration in a struggling marriage. But is this all?

Stubbornness can be the result of poor communication between husband and wife – a misunderstanding of the different modes in which men and women think and communicate. Here the wife or female may be pushing for an immediate or particular decision and action, while the husband or male seems to be taking “forever” to respond or act in his God-designed, slower pace of intellect. Here “slower” is not necessarily bad but different, involving a separate perspective which, when eventually spoken, may prove to very sensible and valuable; but alas for many women, prove to be too late!

Stubbornness can be the result of bringing past family and other baggage into the marriage. “This is the way my parents brought me up and taught me to think, and I am not prepared or ready to move away from it or do things differently”. This can be wide-ranging; from daily decisions (the when or what we watch on TV) to how we plan and execute major marital goals (the when, where or how we purchase our first home). The way forward is to identify and seek to fully understand the disparities involved in a given situation or determination, and to create a new third alternative flow of action for the advancement of the marriage. But for a number of wives or females, this “merging process” itself may prove to be another cradle of irritation.

A third source for stubbornness in a marriage is fear or reluctance to try the new or the unknown. Here “personality types” play a more significant role than many may be aware of or give them credit for! The take-charge, commanding Choleric can become upset by the slower, negative-talking, analytical Melancholic. The quick-moving, out-in-front Sanguine can be hamstringed by an easy-paced, less ambitious Phlegmatic spouse and vice versa. Thus, it is very important to know, understand and plan for the strengths and weaknesses of the marital “personality type” combination that envelops the relationship! An appropriate seminar, course of study or third-party intervention may prove to be a cherished, marital-transforming investment.

But, on the other hand, there are “areas and seasons” in our marriages in which we must be very stubborn. We want to be persistent in our love and commitment to each other even when there is a cost or loss involved –whether money or reputation. For example, Mary firmly believes her husband has HIV through coming into contact with contaminated blood, despite the “stories and repeated words” to the contrary.

We want to be resolute in making time for each other, long after the honeymoon and in face of the increasing time-demands for maturing children, successful work and growing ministry. The wife of one couple recently told me that she and her husband, of over 25 years of matrimony, still “date” every Monday!

Oftentimes we need to be stoic in enduring life’s adversities and the unexpected; unwavering in our faith in a good and just God; in believing the well-meaning intentions of our spouse despite the actions that appear to speak differently; and finally, in achieving the purposes of our marriage amid the flood of legitimate “have-to-be-done” tasks. To quote the Song of Songs “many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot drive it away”

Stubbornness has “a father and a mother” and it is a wise practice to intentionally know one’s in-laws!

The sparring over water occurred during debate on an urgent matter of public importance in the Lower House.

Persad-Bissessar cited recent news headlines of water woes in areas such as Todds Road, Chatham, Lopinot, Penal, Moruga, St Barb’s (Laventille), Maracas and Las Cuevas.

“It seems to be a widespread problem.

I have had first hand experience. What has happened?” Citing promises made in the People’s National Movement 2015 general election manifesto of sustainability in water supply, she said, “About 20 months later they have failed miserably.” She said people now face “pain and trauma” as WASA is allegedly not fulfilling its own water delivery schedule, leaving some people to pay $1,000 per truckload illegally.

Persad-Bissessar said if there is no shortage in the nation’s reservoirs, public complaints of non-supply must be due to poor management of water distribution. She asked how schools or tourist hotels could function without a water supply.

Hinds, in reply, cited news headlines from 2011, 2013and 2015 all lamenting water shortages saying it is nothing new, as he accused Persad-Bissessar of trying to create panic.

He said WASA has told him that the water- levels in their reservoirs are now “above average”. He proposed using the Madamas River as a new source of water supply.

Hinds estimated that 50 percent of WASA’s water supply is lost in leaking pipelines. He challenged an Opposition claim to have supplied 73 percent of all homes.

And when he does, the Fyzabad- born aspiring director will graduate with an outstanding achievement award for academic and creative achievement.

Berkeley, 22, will be one of two students to receive the award on June 3.

One project which may have caught the attention of his lecturers is a live action short film, Sovereign, which he wrote and directed over the spring break. The story is deeply personal, Berkeley told Sunday Newsday.

“(It is) of people finding the goodness that life tries to hide from them. It is inspired by the true events surrounding my father’s experience with cancer,” he said in a series of emails from the United States.

Sovereign was a senior thesis film which Berkeley, a graduate of San Fernando Central Secondary School, did with fellow international students.

His work, he said, aims to empower audiences by addressing societal misconceptions about the human struggle. The team is currently in the post-production stage and editing of the film.

Berkeley’s talent is not only film directing but he is also a motion graphics designer and animator.

From June until the first week in December, he will be on an internship with Buck TV in Los Angeles, as a 2D animator.

The opportunity, he said, was a god-send.

“(I’m) extremely excited and honoured. Earlier on in my degree, I had no estimation of where I would land after graduation and Buck was certainly not achievable in my mind. But God has carved out favourable opportunities for me to give Him glory. I’ll be entering Buck with a healthy balance of humility, excitement, anticipation and intimidation; after all, if it doesn’t scare me a bit, then I’m not challenging myself enough.” Berkeley considers himself a flag-bearer for TT which he wants to see on the map on the international creative industry.

Before his US studies, Berkeley placed first in the graphic design category of the TT leg of the World Skills competition in 2012.

He then took part in the London showcase, which he described as the “the Olympics of vocational skills”.

Motivated by the experience, he subsequently applied to SCAD and has been active in many of the college events, including leading, in 2015, an ad campaign at SCAD’s Hong Kong campus. He said the message to students was regardless of their background, or negative opinion, “we can determine our own success”.

Berkeley is an example of this, as last year he placed second in the motion graphic category of The Rookies, a global competition for young designers, creators, innovators, and artists. It is hailed as the “Oscars for young creative minds”.

“This win allowed me to spearhead my college, the Savannah College of Art & Design, to win the title of School of The Year in motion graphics for our overall dominance in the category,” Berkeley told Sunday Newsday.

Also last year, he worked at Apple in California as a motion graphic designer on a productivity design team, which he sees as a stepping stone.

“My career goal is to tell compelling visual stories through design that is thought-provoking with the intent of positive human development.” Berkeley said he tries to spread his learning as wide as possible to equip himself for projects that require different design and animation techniques.

“This means I try not to get too comfortable in one style for too long. I can certainly say my comfort zone is 2D graphic illustration and animation, and it’s a medium I find very easy to communicate visually with. But I’m aspiring to be a creative director, and therefore I put a lot of critical thought behind the message in my work and how the design elements follow suit.” He wants his work to inspire the best in people.

“Though the actual projects I work on may not be directly affiliated with my faith, the principle of what I live by is what I want to communicate through my work: ethics, diligence, partnership, humility, etc. Professionally, my ultimate goal is to be a creative director spearheading my own team of creatives. Through my work, I want to empower people’s lives positively, even though it might be something as commercial as a TV show package, or a movie title sequence.” Berkley sees what he does as a calling.

“Success for me has been doing what I’m called to do, and with that in mind I think I feel successful.

I’m fortunate enough to do something I enjoy – an opportunity many people do not get – and it has inspired other young professionals to see that all that life has to offer isn’t all within making the popular decisions, but having faith in what you believe you’re truly called to do. I hope that I continue to positively shine for others so that God’s will inside my life would be noticed.” His advice to aspiring creative designers is to believe that can accomplish their goals despite challenges locally.

“There certainly are many options within our local industry.

However, the thing that hinders us from discovering these options is ‘discoverability’ itself. I want to show young people that we do have options, that the world is smaller than we think and that we can choose to follow something we’re passionate about rather than what pays the most, or what seems most popular – redefining what a successful and ethical career can be.” Berkeley plans on living in the US to build his network, learn as much as he can, then return to Trinidad to either work as a freelancer, to teach as a professor or open a studio and be a creative director.

The Ultimate Football Experience, hosted by Flow and Manchester United Football Club, kicked off early in March where footballers across 15 Caribbean countries had the chance to participate in the first part of the event in their country.

From the initial leg, 30 young boys and girls were selected to come to Trinidad and Tobago for the finals whch culminates today.

Yesterday, coaches from the Manchester United Soccer School and the Caribbean Football Union took the youngsters through their paces with a series of drills to assess their quickness, technique and instinct.

The foreign coaches also provided training to selected local coaches.

Yorke, who captained this country at the 2006 World Cup in Germany, will be interacting with the young footballers on the field today and also take part in the awards ceremony.

Represnting this country are local finalists Che Benny and Callum Forbes who are competing with the finalists from the other 14 countries.

These were just a few initiatives by ReThink, a personal and organisational transformation centre with the aim of making this world a kinder, happier, gentler place through actions rather than just words.

According to founder of ReThink, Ernie Ross, the four-year-old organisation was a manifestation of Ross Advertising. He said the agency’s philosophy was “intangience” (a trademarked word they created), which was about intangible values and the science of human connection that makes it work.

For example, he explained that on Valentine’s Day, vendors who sell roses are not just selling flowers but a sentiment. Coca Cola too does not just sell carbonated beverages, but the brand satisfies a craving for human connection.

He therefore asks his clients three questions that drives intangience: Who am I? What is my purpose? How would I be remembered? Ross told Sunday Newsday those questions got him to thinking about his own life. As a single father of a 16-year-old daughter, he asked himself whether he was leaving enough for her materially. However, a friend of his told him the important thing was the values he left with her.

“That got me to thinking about what my life, my business was measured by. The manifestation of greater ideals, the things that were important to me, that I was going in my life but not in any structured way, gave birth to rethink. It was my moment of epiphany when I asked myself these three questions.” “We feel we can carry out national, regional, and international transformation by the work we do.

We are part of a massive global movement to shift conscience, and consciousness,” he said.

Ross stressed that he was not a guru of happiness but that he was searching, like everyone else. The only difference is that he has set up an organisation to do it and is encouraging others to do it as well.

ReThink is doing this through various programmes in TT and Guyana.

Random acts of kindness and pay it forward are interlinked. They encourage people to be nice to each other and for the receiver to do something nice in turn. It could be a smile, a hug, an encouraging word, giving someone a bottle of water or an umbrella to a mother with a child.

“It could be anything that you feel you could afford at that point in time to make someone a little happier.

It could be anything that could break the negative pattern that a person could be experiencing… If you do something unusual and unexpected, a random act of kindness, you shift their consciousness. They can’t help but be touched by that.

If you touch a small percentage of people and they touch a small percentage of people, you are beginning the shift.” He urged people not to be discouraged if someone reacts negatively or does not react at all because no one knows an individual’s personal problems or issues.

ReThink also plans to open a Kindness Caf? at its office on Alcazar St, St Clair, where kindness would be the currency. “We feel that we can trade on the idea and ideal that people are going to be touched by compassion and in time, if frequently touched by it, a shift would happen within them. It will eventually become a part of the changes we need here.” Kind Soles is a programme already launched in Guyana. So far, ReThink has distributed approximately 7,000 expandable sandals to primary school students in Guyana. The sandals, produced by The Shoe That Grows, a non-profit organisation in the US, is durable and comfortable, and perfect for quickly-growing children. Ross said ReThink plans to expand the programme to TT and other parts of the region, donating the sandals to anyone who needs it.

Feed the Need for Happiness was a one-off project that ReThink hopes to do again, and possibly make into a permanent programme.

In 2016, ReThink collected good, cooked food from restaurants and supermarkets and distributed it to the needy.

Ross said every day supermarkets threw away rotisserie chicken, pastries, sushi, sandwiches and full meals that were good, but would spoil if left for another day. He said Rethink is willing to get food warmers, coolers, and vans to pick up the food and distribute it to those in need, and further, to make it a national programme.

He noted that France banned supermarkets from dumping or destroying unsold food and that ReThink is trying to make TT the second country to do so. “There is too much need in this country for them to take good food and dump it, especially if we are providing resources for you to remove it from your place of business.” Soon to come will be the Project Happiness programme, which will be part of ReThink’s Happiness Initiative that brought us free doubles and bake and shark on International Happiness Day.

Project Happiness is a registered NGO out of the US that runs in over 80 countries around the world that teaches children emotional resilience. The curriculum is being run in numerous schools in Guyana, was available in 12 schools in TT in 2016, and ReThink is trying to activate it in this country once again.

Ross also hopes to bring a global initiative into the region, one designed to create harmony and understanding among people with varying views. He said the world-tested programmes, endorsed and supported by a renowned learning institute, could transform societies including school and business environments and the national community.

Ross has been doing random acts of kindness on a personal level for a long time. “There’s nothing that makes you more compassionate than having been there. So when you see someone in a similar or worse situation, it does something to you.” He said he came from “humble beginnings” in Guyana and when he came to Trinidad in the 1980s he didn’t know anyone, and went through a difficult financial time.

In addition, he said as a child his mother encouraged him to be selfless and give to others. “Growing up my mom always told me, ‘If you are feeling down, find someone who feels worse. If there is a need in your life, fill someone else’s need. If there is an absence of love or money, give the love or money.’ Fill the need that you find in your life and there is a universal, irrefutable law that would bring it back to you providing you are doing it because you genuinely want to help, not so that you can get something in return.” Therefore, Ross uses his network of influence to bring the good work being done at ReThink to the notice of people who can encourage the change in communities and nationally. To those who believe a lot of money is necessary to have happiness, Ross said while money brings a certain amount of security and comfort, what is ultimately important is health, your relationship with others, and the sense that you are making a difference and serving a greater purpose in the world.

He stressed that a person can be rich but not be happy if the person does not have love, compassion, understanding, and other intangible things that give one’s life meaning.

“One of the biggest things for making people happy is gratitude.

We have so much to be grateful for on the island and in our lives but if we don’t acknowledge it, we won’t feel happy.”

Rain forced the matches between Alescon Comets and Victoria as well as Merry Boys and Central Sports to be abandoned. Queen’s Park were scheduled to play Tableland but surprisingly the latter pulled out the tournament despite matches scheduled yesterday and also today.

A source close to the club tld Newsday that the decision was taken to not participate in the 50 overs competition as they have not been doing well in that format and their financial resources have been stretched to its limit.

Instead, Tableland will focus their energies and financial resources on the league competition which resumes next week. In the only game with a result yesterday, PowerGen got past Clarke Road by four wickets. Batting first, Clarke Road were bowled out for 196 in 46.4 overs with Ansil Bhagan (2/26), Jovan Ali (2/34), Jason Mohammed (2/34), Mark Deyal (2/21) and Akiel Cooper (2/39) sharing the wicket-taking load evenly. Seon Siloch (46), Yannick Ottley (40) and Gregory Mahabir (28) were the main contributors with the bat for Clarke Road.

In reply, PowerGen reached 199 for six in 34 overs led by a strokefilled half-century from Ewart Nicholson. The right-hander cracked 65 from 72 balls with six fours and two sixes to help PowerGen aggressively pursue their target.

Mohammed (28), Jeron Maniram (21), Evin Lewis (19), Cooper (19) and Nicholas Sookdeosingh (17) chipped in as well.

Launched on April 12, at the Hilton Trinidad, St Ann’s, it is one of the more recent steps taken by the National Ozone Unit to help the country comply with the Montreal Protocol.

Dr Marissa Gowrie, deputy environmental manager and national ozone officer in the Environmental Policy and Planning Division of the Ministry of Planning and Development, explained, “Several countries came together in the 1980s and agreed to phase out ozone depleting gases but the gases affect the ozone differently… Trinidad and Tobago signed on in August 1989.” Some of the gases include refrigerants such as chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) and hydro chlorofluorocarbons (HCFCs); the fumigant Methyl bromide; Halon, a fire suppressant; and more.

She noted the industry overlapped with many other sectors including tourism; the storage and transport of fish, meats, fruit and vegetables; the industrial sector; the medical sector with respect to operating theatres, the storing of vaccines, and even the morgue.

Gowrie told Sunday Newsday the Air-conditioning and Refrigeration Industry Association (ARIA) noticed a lack of professionalism and accountability in the industry. The organisation felt it critical to address these issues given the various sectors it services and so approached the ministry.

“For many years ARIA has been voicing that they were seeing a lot of practices they would not endorse. Because of the very rapid changes in technology and refrigerants, a technician needs to be kept abreast, must keep themselves current, and, let’s face it, as a consumer you assume the technician would give you the best technical advice because you don’t know better.” Therefore, the Ministry of Planning, ARIA, the National Training Agency (NTA), and other training schools created a professional certification for the Refrigeration and AC Industry.

A Body of Knowledge was developed as a text of basic technical knowledge a technician is required to know and is available on the NTA website and the National Ozone Unit’s ozone blog. “It was developed in a manner to appreciate that there are people who may have never gone to a formal school to learn the trade. The Body of Knowledge is aligned to what they should know.” When the online exam is written, the technician would get the result immediately.

For people who are not computer literate, the NTA has a system where a proxy would sit with the person and provide assistance. Those who pass are then certified, recognising that “they are at a certain level, and do a certain quality of work.” They are then issued a license that is valid for three years.

“In addition, NTA has developed, and are developing further, something called Skills TNT. If someone comes to you and says, ‘I’m an air conditioning technician,’ you can log on to Skills TNT and see reviews of their work, if it is they are in fact registered, similar to what Ebay has for sellers.

It gives a level of power to the consumer as well as another level of accountability to the sector.” In order to renew the license, the technician is expected to present a portfolio of work done over the previous three years to the NTA, a record of how they have kept themselves current, and reviews from customers.

“There are things that a technician can do to keep current that may not cost him any money but just shows due diligence on the part of the technician given the fact that this is such a dynamic field and will continue to be a dynamic field.” Gowrie said one reason the field was so dynamic was because of the addition of alternative refrigerants, changes in the law, as well as changes in the Montreal Protocol. She noted that in October 2016, Kigali Amendment to the Montreal Protocol stated that one alternative refrigerant, a hydrofluorocarbons (HFCs), would be phased out because, while it was not damaging to the ozone, it was a green house gas, causing climate change and global warning.

To assist technicians, she said the National Ozone Unit hosted free webinars (online seminar), which they would try to develop on a more regular basis in order to provide free training, as well as keep technicians up-to-date on what was happening in the air conditioning and refrigeration field.

Leah Mohammed (four for 19), Angelina Sookraj (23) and skipper Janelle Noel (two wickets and four catches) helped St Stephen’s hold off their rivals in an exciting final.

Having won the toss and batted first, the Princes Town-based St Stephen’s College compiled 111 for six in their 20 overs.

Despite a valiant effort by Swaha Hindu College in their chase, their efforts were unrewarded as they were bowled for 101 in 12.3 overs.

Both teams were involved in their first trips to the final of the Girls Open competition. Before the start of play, all players were introduced to PowerGen’s officials- Surin Ramsingh (general manager), Sonya Lequay (Director of Human Resources and Administration), Denise Labadie- Sudan (Manager of Human Resources and Communications) and Francois Ottley (Generalist) as well as SSCL president Surujdath Mahabir and members of the triumphant West Indies women’s T20 team Merissa Aguilleira, Anisa Mohammed, Britney Cooper and Stacy-Ann King.

Angelina Sookraj (23 off 15 balls), skipper Janelle Noel (14 off 16 balls) and Kaseann Edwards (10) were the main run getters for St Stephen’s College while Nishal Ragoo (2/12)and Merissa Salickram (2/19) were among the wickets for Swaha.

In search of 112 for victory, Anushala Bhoodram topscored for Swaha Hindu College with a quick-fire 25 which included two sixes and three fours of nine deliveries and picked up the “Most Runs” award. Nishal Ragoo (12) and Kemesha Vincent (10) were the other players who reached double figures but their efforts were in vain.

Leah Mohammed was awarded the “Best Bowler” prize.

Summarised Scores: ST STEPHEN’S COLLEGE 111/6 (20 overs) – Angelina Sookraj 23, Janelle Noel 14, Kaseann Edwards 10; Nishal Ragoo 2/12, Merissa Salickram 2/19 vs SWAHA HINDU COLLEGE 101 all out (12.3 overs) – Anushala Bhoodram 25, Nishal Ragoo 12, Kemesha Vincent 10; Leah Mohammed 4/19, Janelle Noel 2/6, Kayle Dookran 2/35.

Do you impatiently look around a department store, hoping to catch the eye of a salesperson willing to help you get the best fit in a style that flatters as it supports? Bare Secrets, created by Deanna Boatswain-Purcell wants to change that process. With her personal touch, Deanna strives to make all her clients comfortable and confident choosing intimates, swimwear and accessories to suit their style.

Golden Oldies cricket, which started in 1984 in Auckland, New Zealand, is built around the spirit of fun, friendship and fraternity.

Over the years a number of ex-Test players have featured for various teams in this well established event that has previously been staged in New Zealand, Australia, England, Sri Lanka and Canada.

About 50 teams will be gathering in Barbados for this world event, coming from Australia, New Zealand, England, South Africa and Canada and Trinidad and Tobago.

The Leatherbacks outfit will travel with a party of 23 including former West Indies and Trinidad and Tobago player Brenda Solozano, the lone female player in the squad.

The Leatherbacks recently hosted the Occidental Cricketers of Australia in a pre-tournament game at the Brian Lara Cricket Academy at Tarouba.

The full touring party includes Larry Sooklalsingh, Angela Sooklalsingh, Suresh Lallan, Patricia Mahabir, Brenda Solozano, Bobby Solozano, Gangadayne Jaglal, Deal Ali, Nizam Khan, Baldath Mahabir, Rumona Mahabir, Hafiz Mohammed, Sherry Mohammed, RJB Singh, Fazad Khan, Balkaran Ramkissoon, Davanand Roopnarine, Pramesh Scheult, Ramesh Pamsumair, Shawn Francis, Phagoo Soomai, Kalaparsad Sanise and Vasant Rambarran.