Politics Drinking Game™

IF YOU haven’t given up alcohol for Lent, then this game is for you! Are you tired of hearing the same thing over and over again from our political figures — or that no matter what politician, president, minister or PM you listen to, it all pretty much sounds the same? That even after “ministerial shuffles” you still feel like you’ve heard it all before? Do you know the rhetoric and propaganda of each political party like the back of your hand? Are you a Newsday reporter who at the end of the day needs a few stiff drinks after taking notes on the repetitive ramblings of Parliament?

If you answered yes to one or more of the above questions, then today is your lucky day! For the first time ever in TT, may I present to you the official Politics Drinking Game™! Don’t be put to sleep by political boredom — just walk with your handy-dandy Politics Drinking Game™ in your front pocket and a flask of rum (or puncheon, whatever makes you happy) in your back pocket the next time you go to a rally, court hearing, or to the Red House! How does it work, you ask? Simple — all it takes is a good pair of ears for listening, a good pair of eyes for watching, and a thirsty throat for drinking.

These are the rules:
Take one shot:
* Every time Patrick Manning uses the word “interesting.”
* Every time Basdeo Panday uses the phrase “ethnic cleansing.”
* Every time someone uses the phrase “the recent spate of kidnappings.”
* Every time a reporter describes a bandit as “relieving” a victim of their jewelry, shoes, cell phone and cash.
Take two shots:
* Every time a Cabinet Minister falls asleep in his chair in the Red House.
* Every time you attend a court case and the nickname of the accused is “Rat.”
* Every time a reporter describes a criminal as “raining chops” on his victim.
* Every time Patrick Manning develops a case of laryngitis.
Take three shots:
* Every time Basdeo Panday refuses to support something in Cabinet unless there is “constitutional reform.”
* Every time a bandit fled the scene in a white B-13 Sentra never to be found again.
* Every time someone says the phrase “Vision 2020.”
* Every time someone writes a Letter to the Editor quoting the Bible.
Take four shots:
* Every time a Minister says the words “LNG” (one shot for each Atlantic LNG Train in Point Fortin).
* Every time Abu Bakr is in the papers (one shot for each of Abu’s wives).
* Every time someone says the phrase “Afro-Trini” or “Indo-Trini.”
* Every time someone uses the phrase “carnage on the nation’s roads.” You can rely on your friendly locally-produced Politics Drinking Game™ to save you from boredom during many a dull day at the office, many nights watching Panorama news, many hours of reading the daily papers, and time spent while interviewing “honourable” Ministers outside of White Hall. The Politics Drinking Game™ is guaranteed for endless hours of good political fun and entertainment.

(DISCLAIMER: The manufacturers of the Politics Drinking Game™ do not take responsibility for any terminated employment, being held in contempt of court, slurred speech, outbreaks of laryngitis, bad or incorrect reporting, ethnic cleansing, liver damage, empty wallets or odd looks from strangers. Please play responsibly.) Cheers!