MADRID, FOR BETTER OR WORSE

I’ve never been fond of weddings and in my cheekier past, would often quip that I preferred to attend a funeral than to witness anyone’s nuptials because burials seemed somewhat less surreal, well at least to me. So what’s a hater of marriage ceremonies and receptions doing in Madrid mere days before Spain’s heir to the throne, Prince Felipe, ties the knot with Letizia Ortiz, his journalist fianc?e (and they say journalism has little reward) in an ostentatious affair that is costing millions of Euros? Finding myself in the most inappropriate of places at the most misconceived of moments, for there is a noxious brew of purple pomp, soap opera love and haute couture in the Madrid air.

At every street corner and kiosk in the Spanish capital, there are tacky wedding souvenirs on sale such as portraits of the young couple on commemorative plates, mugs, thimbles, board games, T-shirts, pens and keychains. Even the Madrid metro tickets have been converted into mementoes — although I doubt this move will impress the turnstile jumpers enough to make them pay for their ride. For the most part the fare dodgers are young men with long hair who seem unlikely fans of the monarchy. The royal pair are the talk of this town. All you can hear is, Felipe this, Letizia that. It’s no good trying to hide from the marriage mania by staying inside, not unless you turn off the TV and toss all my newspapers since the media is as equally infected with princely marriage fever.

Each television station has dedicated the past month to saccharine documentaries on the lives of the couple. We’ve seen Felipe doing some sport or other; Felipe touring his native land; Felipe and Letizia walking hand in hand in her home town in Asturias, North-western Spain; Felipe and Letizia attending a bullfight; Leticia when she was a little girl and chronicles on the meteoric rise of Letizia to the post of anchorwoman for the Spanish state television station, TVE. Both print and electronic journalists are also feeding us a daily midday diet of updates on the wedding preparations and the exorbitant gifts arriving from all corners of Spain and the globe. I’m still reeling from the revelation that 500 kilos of wool were used to spin an enormous, ornate rug, which I assume will garnish the floor of one of the many salons of the couple’s royal residence in the Spanish capital. I’ve watched expert wine tasters select the perfect vintage for each of the wedding dinner’s several courses and I now feel confident that I’ll never arrive at a royal morning wedding mass in inappropriate attire, not unintentionally, that is.

“No one else, but the bride can wear a long dress or white,” a designer cautioned the television audience earlier this week, as if they all had invitations for the gala event. “Dark hues are out of the question, as are bright colours.” “Good to know,” I thought, “Just in case my invite from Felipe and Letizia comes, I’ll go get me a nice long sleeved black dress that drapes to the ground, with matching hat.” I confess however, that all that glitters in Madrid is not regal purple or gold. Accompanying the wedding jitters is a deep concern for the amount of money being spent on the lavish affair. Although many in the city have enjoyed temporary employment because of the work created by the wedding, other Madrid citizens — Madrile?os — are not pleased at the large quantity of their Euros the capital is forking out for the Big Day.  Neither are the left wing politicians thrilled with the ostentation and several have declined invitations to the May 22 nuptials. Isambard Wilkinson, a Madrid journalist writes that, “Members of Spain’s Left-wing parties have called for spending curbs on the lavish preparations being made for the wedding of Crown Prince Felipe and a former television presenter.

The wedding between the 35-year-old prince, and Leticia Ortiz, 31, is fast taking on sumptuous proportions as the best cooks and performers jostle to play a part in the event. However, plans by Alberto Ruiz-Gallardon, the centre-Right mayor of Madrid, to spruce the city up for the occasion have been met with protests by the newly-elected Left, which called for “austerity”. In particular, plans to spend 2.2 million Euros (?1.5 million) on illuminating some of the capital’s buildings in accordance with the plans of Pascua Ortega, an interior designer, on the May 22 wedding day, have been criticised.

Also deemed to be frivolous was the commissioning of a nine-minute song for the marriage by Nacho Cano, a former member of the Spanish group Mecano.” There is also an undercurrent of insecurity beneath the ‘purple haze’ enveloping the Spanish capital. Memories of the March 11 bombings haunt the city’s leaders and so extraordinary anti-terrorist measures have been put in place, which serve principally as reminders of 11M to all and sundry and which cause a general nuisance as pedestrians and motorists try to manoeuvre their way around the various sites now designated off-limits. Police with bomb seeking sniffer dogs are everywhere, searching for explosives in garbage cans and post boxes, in parked cars.

The Rolls Royce that the royal couple will ride in after they exchange their vows in the Almudena cathedral was sent to a special factory on the outskirts of Madrid to be fitted with bullet proof glass. The most drastic measure, viewed by many as ridiculous and paranoid is Spain’s request for NATO to send one of its 17 AWACS planes to patrol the airspace over Madrid on May 22, an airspace which will be closed to all low flying aircraft such as light aeroplanes and helicopters from 6pm on May 21 to 8pm the following day. As for me, this heightened security means that I’ve got to make sure I’ve got some form of identification on me, something which indicates I’m no terrorist. The rest is up to the gods and NATO above. The irony is that I used to be the first to sign up for an excursion to Madrid in May for it is usually a magical month in the Spanish capital. Now, I’m anxious to exit its gates as soon as tomorrow. For better, I hope, not worse.