Poor people

Frankly, I can’t help but feel sorry for everyone involved in the latest national controversy. I even feel sorry for myself, as a journalist, since our ridiculous laws prevent the matter from being properly aired in public and by the public. You’ll forgive me if I therefore take an unconventional approach.

THE CHIEF JUSTICE: How can anyone not feel sorry for Chief Justice Sat Sharma? Here is a man who has reached the highest legal position in the land. Indeed, he is in some respects even more powerful than the President and the Prime Minister, since the CJ can wear a gown without anybody giggling. As a judge, Sharma is skilled in analysing evidence, thinking logically, and applying principle to matters of law. Yet he is alleged to have made a case not through evidence, logic, or principle, but by displaying his surgery scars. That’s sort of like Jesus showing his wounds to prove that he’d risen from the dead. If this situation reaches the impeachment stage, Sharma better hope the tribunal is not made up of credulous disciples, but doubting Thomases.

THE PRIME MINISTER: To misquote Hamlet: “Alas! Poor Patrick. I knew him, Horatio: a man of infinite mess.” How Mr Manning must regret appointing his wife as Education Minister, giving former Police Commissioner Everald Snaggs his letter of appointment, fast-tracking Louis Lee Sing’s radio licence application, and interfering with Devant Maharaj’s appointment! Now Manning can’t do anything about Sharma without it being seen as his predilection for overstepping his authority. Worse yet, the person he may have to take action against is Indo-Trinidadian: and the only way Manning can prove he’s not racist is to point out that he also tried to shaft City Clerk Marlene Coudray.

THE LEADER OF THE OPPOSITION: Basdeo Panday must be in terrible pain. Here he is trying to convince people that the Government wants to take control of the judiciary, when he spent a good part of his five years in office trying to do the same. Here he is arguing that Manning abuses his Prime Ministerial power, when Bas himself rejected a broadcast licence application from CCN, ordered Nipdec to give his boy Ish an airport contract, and took every advantage of the same Constitution he now wants reformed. No wonder he talks as though he’s just had an extra-strength purge. The muscle strain Bas must suffer from changing positions so often is surely agonising.

THE ATTORNEY GENERAL: Poor John Jeremie. Ever since being appointed Attorney General, he has tried to present himself as a model of rectitude, but not so slim. He has tried to seem professional, not by giving the State good advice, but by speaking like a stuffed frog. However, Jeremie’s amphibious mask slipped two weeks ago when UNC Senator Wade Mark alleged that the Government was taking steps to remove the Chief Justice. In response, Jeremie stated categorically that the Government had no such power, which is true, but forgot to mention that the Government was investigating the CJ, which at the very least is a lie by omission. So, now that he has been shown to be the politician he once denied he was, Jeremie should stop looking like a stuffed frog. But you must have sympathy for him, since his only other choice is to look like a stuffed agouti instead.

THE DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC PROSECUTIONS: Even before all this bacchanal started, you had to feel sympathy for Geoffrey Henderson. Here he was coming in after Mark Mohammed, who was the best DPP this country had ever seen. Henderson had some pretty big shoes to fill, and soon proved himself a small-foot man. However, although he lacks initiative and innovation, he has managed to keep his beard well-trimmed.

THE MAHA SABHA HEAD: Alienated because he was born in a society in which his name is a past tense, Sat Maharaj has threatened racial violence unless Sharma is kept on as Chief Justice. Sat does not need evidence to decide on a matter’s merit, because he can always consult Hindu astrologers. Yet he still cannot make up his mind whether he believes in non-violence or the Atkin’s diet. Someone so confused and cholesterol-ridden is more to be pitied than censured.

THE CCSJ PRESIDENT: Poor Leela Ramdeen. Head of the Catholic Commission for Social Justice (otherwise known as Gilbert’s Groupies), she always helps her opponents because she thinks ranting a more effective mode of argument than reason. Despite rushing to warn the Prime Minister to back off on action against the CJ, Ramdeen was more circumspect when Kalifa Logan was banned from school for having dreadlocks. Ramdeen’s apparent alliance with Sat over the Trinity Cross issue and the CJ scandal may be a sign that they have invested in a new lice-prevention ointment. You must feel sorry for a person who does not have any independent opinions on any matter.

THE TALKSHOW HOSTS: Spare some sympathy for I95.5’s George ‘‘Umbala’’ Joseph and Power 102’s Ricardo ‘‘Gladiator’’ Welch. Coming down firmly on the side of the PNM and even more firmly against all Indo-Trinidadians, the CJ issue has brought great stress on both Umbala and Gladiator. Umbala’s pseudo-British accent has been stretched to the limit, while Gladiator now does more growling than talking.
Their illogic explain why their shows are popular among the old, unemployed, and Members of Parliament. It must be hard knowing that that’s the kind of audience you appeal to.

POOR US: As usual in such matters, it is the average citizens who will bear the brunt of any dire consequences. We will be kept ignorant as far as the people in power can do so, we will play no part in any key decisions, and we will feel the fallout while those involved make sure to further their own agenda: which, as always, will be to first protect their own backsides.