Parents: Do as I say, not as I do!

Parents and guardians are the ones who are supposed to set the examples by which children live whether they like it or not. When one becomes a parent, he/she automatically becomes an exemplar…it is a fact. Your child now does what he sees and not what he is told to do.

The disappointing thing is that parents fail to realise that in most instances they are their children’s idols, and that children look at and internalise everything they do.

What really got me thinking about this whole thing was when I was asked by someone who is a bit young how "far" he should go with a girl. I had no idea how to answer the question. Sex is now normal activity at any age, and without connection to marriage.

As a matter of fact, even primary school children are reportedly experimenting with sex. So whether you agree or disagree, sex is the norm.

The youths of today no longer hold the values which seem to diminish more and more with each generation. It is amazing how over time these values practised by earlier generations have changed. Pre-marital sex is now an accepted part of life by many persons — something that was once deemed wrong.

In my parent’s days, it was, by far, the biggest sin any woman could have committed. Note that the rule did not apply to men.

Now since this has become part of our "culture" children are torn between what they think is right, what they feel is right, what they were taught is right and what their peers claim is right.

Someone pointed out to me that values change with time, and while we should set limits for ourselves they should be reasonable limits that would allow us to consider the reality of any situation.

He added that as humans we all have desires that need to be fulfilled. So, basically, what this means to me is that while we may not want to get married we still have "physical" desires and they "must" be fulfilled.

Whatever happened to making sacrifices? The word "sacrifice" is now just a part of our vocabulary and means nothing anymore. We (human beings) no longer make sacrifices, but seek instant gratification. So what if we have sex out of wedlock? It’s no big deal. Our God is all forgiving, right? He will forgive me if I ask.

That is the attitude we have adopted, and what is being passed on from generation to generation.

So maybe, if parents and guardians set the right examples for children, they will be able to know automatically what is acceptable and what is not.

Parents need to remember that actions do speak louder than words and no matter how much they "preach" to their children, they are not always going to do what they are told. Like my grandfather always said, "what monkey see, monkey do." What your child sees you doing, he/she will think is acceptable and thus, do the same.

So when your child does something that you do not accept or you think is wrong, don’t always blame him/her. Maybe it was because of something that YOU did wrong. And your child SAW you doing it.