CONFLICT RESOLUTION — THE JESUS MODEL

Whether it is conflict in the home, school, workplace, community, politics, sports or prison, the Jesus model provides a solid solution...It’s amazing how differently we see others when we first take time to look within ourselves.

Basically, managing or resolving conflict requires wisdom, diplomacy, finesse, interpersonal skills, a good understanding of human behaviour, among other things. We are told that an intelligent approach to conflict resolution involves conversation rather than confrontation; dialogue rather than discord. There are many approaches which can prove successful, depending on the merits of the particular situation at hand. Negotiating skills may be the ideal in one case, while the ability to settle for a reasonable compromise may be the olive branch solution in another instance. Communication defects are at the heart of many conflicts. Taking a little extra time to enhance communication skills and remedy the common defects always goes a long way in avoiding or resolving conflicts. Certainly, we can go on and on, perhaps getting into a bit more complex areas such as personality typing and related stuff. But let’s pause a bit and take a look at a few lessons given by One who has been revered by billions as the wisest teacher that ever lived —Jesus Christ.

Let’s take the scenario with the woman caught in adultery (John 8:3-11). The woman was about to be stoned to death but her accusers brought her to Jesus to get a verdict, before they executed the sentence. The account states that Christ stooped down and “wrote on the sand,” apparently listing various types of sins that were common among the masses. Jesus then looked up and made one deeply penetrating, soul-searching statement: “He that is without sin, let him first cast a stone at her.” Instead of casting the stones at the woman, all her accusers began dropping their deadly weapons on the ground, calmly walking away. Jesus then looked at the woman, who was left alone standing before Him, and remarked, “Neither do I condemn thee, go and sin no more.” Here was a major issue at the very brink of becoming an extremely brutal matter, culminating in bloody death. The air was filled with anger and tension, all aimed at a defenceless woman. For centuries this was the practice, so there appeared to be no way that this woman would escape the “wrath and vengeance” of the angry crowd. Nevertheless, one short well-directed sentence, spoken with divine wisdom, hit the right note in the human heart. This resulted in an unusual depth of introspective examination, which instantly reversed the whole ugly affair. The entire atmosphere changed. Hate, anger, the thirst for blood and imminent death, gave way to self-judgement, understanding empathy, mercy, compassion, peace and life. If only we could master the Jesus model. How many times would we avoid the worst kinds of tension, strife and hostility, if we only took time to follow the Jesus model and look within, before we look without. It’s amazing how differently we see others when we first take time to look at ourselves. Whether it’s conflict in the home, school, workplace, community, politics, sports or prison, the Jesus model provides a solid solution.

An honest, objective look within, while placing ourselves in the other person’s shoes would eradicate much of the ruthless selfishness, unreasonableness and hypocrisy, which we display in dealing with others, in issues which tend to generate conflicts. The Apostle Paul exhorts, “Let a man first examine himself...” (1 Cor 11:28). Christ, in this context, also charges “Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.” (Matt 7:5). In a passage of teaching called “The Beatitudes,” Christ also gives some splendid advice on dealing with situations of conflict or potential conflict: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matt 5:44). This takes in the invaluable forgiveness factor. At another time the Lord said, “...but whosever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matt 5:39). But this piece of advice is generally administered to believers with a bit of caution, since the affected party is usually prompted to give the reminder that the Lord did not say what to do after one received the second slap! The smitten one may just decide to take that the Lord really meant, “It’s all in your hands from there!” Upon closer examination though, Christ showed that avoiding, managing or resolving conflict must be taken in context. There were times when the same gentle Jesus blasted, “Ye generation of vipers” (Matt 23:33). He demonstrated that love came in two brands — tough and tender — both being equally pure in the proper context. We can be both friendly and firm, even as we can disagree without being disagreeable. Of course, Jesus also made it clear that conflict was inevitable of a mission definite purpose — only the right strategy was necessary to manage it effectively. Christ won the greatest victory for man in his greatest conflict and confrontation with sin, death and the devil. The conflict of Calvary’s cross was a huge one, but it provided eternal healing for the major conflict between man and God (Jn 3:16). In this case (unfortunately) Christ was forced to resort to a certain kind of war, in order to bring eternal peace to humanity. Out of conflict came comfort.