Role models’ roll

I once thought of being a role model: but I just couldn’t learn the walk. Role models stroll, or saunter, or swagger; sometimes, they even sashay. And, while I am not sure exactly how I walk, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t start with an ‘s.’ Additionally, I have never acquired any of the other skills essential to being a proper role model. I never learned to run very fast, or to look pretty, or to praise God. I only run fast after woman, look pretty silly doing it, and praise Darwin if they let me catch them. By contrast, I am sure that all right-thinking Trinidadians were proud and happy to learn that Sir Ellis Clarke, who once occupied the highest office in the land, has never had pre- or extra-marital sex. Indeed, any Trinidadian who wasn’t happy and proud about Sir Ellis’ revelation is surely unworthy of the adjective “right.”

Sir Ellis’ admission came when he was asked for his reaction to Wendy Fitzwilliam’s announcement, made at a girls’ school, that she was pregnant and not planning to get married. “Right is right and wrong is wrong, and they have no privilege to choose what is wrong,” said Sir Ellis. He pointed out that the college where Wendy made her announcement is Catholic and encourages “behaviour only in accordance with Catholic principles, and certainly sex outside marriage is not one of them.” He also said that he would tell the school’s principal to reinforce Catholic doctrine to the girls since “There is no liberty to make a choice outside of it.” Since Sir Ellis is himself a devout Catholic, we can reasonably infer that he has himself followed said principles devoutly. And the citizenry of this country should expect no less of a man who was the country’s first president.

This is the kind of role model young, black men need. (Not Indian men: they need a role model who doesn’t kill his spouse and drink weedicide after.) It is no wonder that, with men like Sir Ellis standing at the nation’s head, there was less crime at its bottom. Maybe government corruption was more rampant, and maybe there was more racism in the society, and maybe more women did get beaten by their husbands. But there weren’t so many murders, although Trinidad even in the 1970s was still among the top ten countries with the highest murder rates. But it was real role models like Sir Ellis who kept this country on the straight and narrow path. People didn’t wine for Carnival, they chipped; women who shacked up with a man weren’t “common-law wives,” they were sluts; and condoms weren’t displayed in display cases in drug stores, they were kept in a Brinks safe. At least nowadays good Catholics still don’t use condoms, even when fornicating. After all, if you’re going to commit one sin, why put your immortal soul in even greater danger by putting on a prophylactic?

Which brings me to Ms Fitzwilliam, who is also Catholic. In a newspaper interview, she said, “I take my faith seriously. I agree with many things the church stands for, but there are also things I don’t agree with.” She did not specify what she doesn’t agree with, or if Ms Universes are given a special dispensation by the Church to disagree with its teachings. But she has admitted to being a “condom Nazi” which, presumably, was the corps responsible for ensuring that Jews, homosexuals and men with handlebar moustaches did not have children. Also, since Wendy’s chile fadder reportedly has child or children from a previous marriage, she apparently also disagrees with the church about fornication or adultery (depending on whether said chile fadder is divorced or separated). And, a few years ago, she also said she is in favour of the death penalty, which the Catholic Church opposes. Unfortunately, Wendy did not say what parts of her faith she does take seriously.

Is it the doctrine of transubstantiation? The virgin birth? St Thomas Aquinas’ Four Proofs for the existence of God? But no — surely that last one must at least make her giggle. Then again, maybe not. People often describe Wendy as intelligent and, when she won the Ms Universe contest, this briefly re-awakened my hopes of being a role model. But I am still not sure why people find her intelligent. It is true that she has a law degree, but so does Judge Herbert Volney. But Wendy is very well-spoken, so I guess sounding intelligent is as good as, or even better than, being so. Then again, I have myself had the experience of giving talks to audiences which include teachers, and several of them always come up afterwards to ask me if I would come to their schools to speak to their students. But none of those requests has ever been followed with an actual invitation. No doubt, after the teachers thought about it, better sense — or a denominational board member — prevailed.

After all, you don’t want young persons being exposed to someone who might tell them the human beings evolved from apes, that ancient Egyptians weren’t black, and that legalising abortion won’t cause our oil and gas to run out. No, this is a society where people like Pastor Winston Cuffie are considered role models enough to have their own schools, so children can learn that the Earth is 6,000 years old and it doesn’t matter how ugly a house is once it costs a few million dollars. It is a country where the Integrity Commission tells judges they can ignore the law and where judges agree to do so. It is a place where frauds like Yesenia Gonzalves are invited on morning TV talkshows to fool the viewing public with ‘psychic readings.’ Hm. I’m beginning to see why I can never be a role model in TT. Pardon me while I pat myself on the back.

E-mail: kbaldeosingh@hotmail.com
Website: www.caribscape.com/baldeosingh