John-Boyd — a father for all seasons

MOTHERS are considered to be the backbone of every family. The contributions of fathers have been unfairly downplayed in the recent past due to the actions of the irresponsible fathers in our societies. The heroic stories of single mothers who struggled on their own to successfully raise children are well documented. Despite the “positives,” such situations have unfortunately become the “norm” in TT and around the world. Not to be outdone, however, are those fathers — single and married — who have dedicated all of their energy to being an exceptional parent in the lives of their children. In homes where such relationships are cultured, the results have been positive on both children and the wider society. One such dedicated father is John-Boyd Briggs, a single father who lives for the sake of his two daughters, eight-year-old Jeanice and six-year-old Jeneile.

“My mother was a great single parent, but I always wanted to have the chemistry of two parents contributing to my children’s lives.” For John-Boyd, 34, situations did not quite work out the way he had hoped, and after efforts to raise his children in a two-parent home crashed, he opted to go it alone four years ago. John-Boyd, a Coast Guard mechanic responsible for aircraft maintenance, peered up at the ceiling as he lamented, “One day I just made the decision. I packed up my bags and moved with the children when they were about two and four.” The evident attachment between this loving father and his daughters made the interview a bit difficult, as Jeneile repeatedly wrapped her arms around her father as he sat, adjusting his shirt collar and making faces at him. As he embraced the younger of the two children, John-Boyd added, “My children and I have a very, very, close relationship.”

John-Boyd says that just “hearing their voices saying ‘daddy’ causes a feeling that you just can’t beat.” He says the thought of his daughters also helps keep him grounded, particularly in those times when he would be near the edge. “There is nothing that compares to how I feel when they’re with me, even if there is a reason for me to be angry with them, and if I am forced to discipline them. We love each other just the same. “The fact is that anyone can have a child, but to be a father you must be willing to take care of your children financially, physically, emotionally. A father has to be willing to listen to his children and offer them guidance. Sometimes I come home stressed and tired, but as a father I can’t just brush them off.

I still have to be there for them and try my best to treat them the same regardless of my personal state. “Any good father would also be an example to his children especially with regard to their spiritual life. They must also be really comfortable talking to you. Not that they must talk to you anyway they like, but with the respect that is due, they should willingly confide in you. That way, you will be aware of what is going on in their lives and be in a position to be not only a father, but teacher and friend to them,” said John-Boyd as he watched his children play in the yard of his Tunapuna home. John-Boyd, however, does not take all the credit for the success of his single-parent situation.

“I needed the support. Without the support and experience of my mother Mennen Walker-Briggs, who was involved in school supervision for 23 years, I don’t know where I would be with this life because I tend to work long hours.” John-Boyd leaned back in his seat and peered at the ceiling,  lamenting that younger daughter Jeneile “doesn’t even know her mother,” who works on a cruise ship. On a lighter note, he explained what he considered to be his traits that are reflected in his children’s actions: “I think I’ve offered them a certain degree of sensitivity and an awareness of the people around them.” He laughed heartily and said, “Jeanice can dance well and she definitely got that from me. Jeneile has an incredible knack for learning songs word-for-word and reciting them on key and I think that that is something I passed on to her.”

A musician himself, John-Boyd paused as Jeneile walked by singing a popular Disney theme song at the top of her little lungs. The proud father added, “I really want to give them what my mom gave me. My family has been a true buffer for me and even some people at work all offered me support and I don’t think that any single parent could do it entirely on their own. We are all like parents to the kids. As a result of this, I think that in this particular case the children should not miss out on anything in the absence of their mother.”