Let your affection be your guide

With so many people waiting until they are a lot older to marry, the tradition of receiving wedding gifts to ‘set up home’ has largely disappeared. Many couples now look for novel and interesting wedding gifts.  The question of gift-giving is made less difficult by couples who still opt to post a gift list. The gift list is still a matter of contention but the gift giver is not restricted to sticking to it. Among those couples who have everything, there is a growing trend, for suggesting charitable donations to a chosen organisation, as an alternative to more traditional wedding gifts.

How soon to send a gift: Preferably, send the gift to the bride before the wedding or to the couple soon thereafter. In some regions gifts are brought to the reception and placed on a special table. Contrary to a rumour that you have a year to send a gift, it really should be sent right away or within three months of the wedding.  Do you have to choose a gift from a registry: No. A registry is for your convenience and you are not limited to what is on the list.   How much to  spend? There is no rule, so it is entirely up to you. Let your affection for the bride and groom and your budget be your guide.   Is it appropriate to give money? In some cultures it is “THE” traditional gift. If you are uncomfortable about giving cash or a check, you have several options. You can give a gift certificate to a store where the bride and groom are registered.

What do I do if I haven’t received a thank you note? Ouch!! This is an awkward situation. It is certainly OK to call and ask the couple if they received the gift. If you find this too awkward and the gift was sent from a store, you can call the store and have it traced. Just as a gift should be sent right away or within three months of a wedding, a thank you note should be written right away or, at the very least, within three months of receiving a gift.