Dictatorship and absurdity at work (Part 1)

I don’t know what the facts are regarding him but I can tell you this, if I were to become leader of this country there will be no ambiguity because from the onset I will declare that I will have a benevolent dictator style of rule.

Maybe I should explain how I came to this decision.

TT is a country with many freedoms. Isn’t it a fact we have many laws which many citizens fail to heed? Isn’t it a fact that there is no fear of penalty for one’s actions?

Isn’t it a fact that some persons are enjoying their freedom so much they do not have an iota of conscience? Robbery, rape, stealing and murder are no big things.

Isn’t it a fact that people including those who think they are not inclined to criminal behavior have grown so accustomed to having mucho freedom they abuse it without a second thought?

Daily I have observed how indiscipline (which regular readers of this column will know is one of my peeves), has taken over, so to curb this and engender greater respect and regard for the freedoms we do have, I will introduce a series of measures sure to evoke criticism, lament, litigation and even protests (which I may welcome since TT people are so lethargic and indifferent about rallying for causes).

Since we have a problem with too many cars on the road, I will introduce a law in which a driver’s licence is automatically revoked for dangerous driving. Persons who are in the business of transporting passengers (including those under the guise of PH) will face the same penalty and automatic jail time for reckless/stupid driving. This should reduce road numbers by a couple thousand cars.

If persons are killed as a result of any negligence, then the driver’s licence will be revoked for life. I will introduce standards for taxis and maxis in which vehicles will be inspected to ensure they are suitable for transporting passengers. Obscene lyrics and gangster rap music will be banned. Conscious lyrics and religious songs will be sanctioned. In addition, music will not be allowed to be played above a certain noise level.

There will be a law banning persons who play their music — whether in their car or house which causes a nuisance to their neighbours. A hotline will be set up for persons to complain.

Another law will see persons urinating in public places being charged.

Imagine my disgust walking across Independence Square and witnessing a man urinating on a tree on the Brian Lara Promenade? Is no place safe?

Free adult diapers will be provided to persons who feel (despite the availability of public toilets at various locations) that they must relieve themselves in public.

Vagrants will be assigned to homes and additional facilities will be constructed and provided to non-governmental organisations under their management. All homeless persons will have their photo ID taken and those in need of psychiatric therapy will be referred accordingly. I will make no promises of eradicating poverty, besides no religious figure ever achieved that miracle.

Under my rule idleness/laziness in any form will be a crime against the State. Hard-working people will be encouraged to free up (within reason) and all businesses must have rewards and incentives to motivate staff. The State will also invite nominations for hard-working employees to qualify for State bonuses. And as this is a country where bobol is rampant, anyone found nominating their brother, sister, uncle and tanty will be dealt with very harshly.

Businesses found exploiting their workers will have their profits confiscated.

Under my rule, public holidays will be eliminated because during these periods the tendency to engage in excessive drinking, reckless behaviour, and reckless driving escalates.

The way I see it, it will be win-win situation as citizens and the country will benefit. We will be become a nation of producers instead of slackers.

Those who wish to have their religious ceremonies for their days (which are no longer holidays) will be free to do so. We can still light deyas and exchange gifts for Christmas but we will have to manage time differently. Next week I will share my ideas on dealing with slackness and crime.