Honouring roots and traditions

All family members and members of the bridal party also dressed “asoyebi” with heads tied and waists wrapped in fabric. The wedding cake for guests to take away was served in beautifully wrapped calabash while Egyptian pyramid shaped centrepieces adorned the cake table. It was not only the first wedding I planned, but my first African themed wedding.

Although thousands of miles and the Atlantic Ocean separate North America from the African continent, brides of colour who choose to honour their ancestral roots, have a rich cultural heritage from which to design a wedding experience that is unique and distinctive to the country or tribe from which they came.

Wedding traditions vary by country and tribe so an African inspired wedding should best be designed to reflect and honour the bride or groom’s tribal or country heritage. Wedding attire is also customised by geographic location and tribe, however flowers that symbolise an African heritage range from African lily flowers, African daisies, African orchids, protea flowers and African queen lily flowers, to the popular African violet plants. You can simply do a google search to unearth images of these exotic and colourful blooms.

Two Afrocentric rituals that have grown in popularity over the years are “jumping the broom” and the unity “sand ceremony.” After the couple have been proclaimed as man and wife, the couple hold hands and jump over a beautifully decorated broom, to symbolise their leap into a new chapter of their life together, as a married couple.

The sand ceremony needs no explanation. In the African context however, the colours of the sand may reflect either the country or tribal colours of the bride and groom. For a long married life, it is advisable to purchase a long vase, which can be proudly displayed in your china cabinet, as a memento of your marriage.

Then there is the “guedra” which is an African traditional love dance, performed by the bride for her groom.

Coptic Christians on the African continent perform a unique wedding ceremony ritual called the “kesherah” which involves a chord, (or ribbon) comprising of two strands, that is placed at the grooms feet. The rabbi or officiant then pulls the ribbon all the way up to the top of the groom’s head, before tying it around the groom’s forehead to symbolise that he is now “taken.” Eureka! Now I finally understand why we Trinbagonians talk about “getting tied up!” Traditional Coptic Christians also remove all body hair prior to the wedding ceremony. Am not sure about the significance of this ritual, but it sure is interesting and unusual.

Have you always longed for a sunset or night time wedding? Well long no more.

Let’s journey to Morocco in North Africa where weddings are traditionally held after sunset or at nights. A typical Moroccan wedding actually lasts for seven days.

Day one is the bride’s beauty day when henna is painted on the feet and hands of the bride by a “nakasha” (the woman who paints the bridal henna). The bride is adorned with antique jewellery, including a silver coin placed in the bridal slipper, to ward off evil. In Moroccan culture, silver is associated with the moon.

On days two and three are the bride and her family and friends, and the groom and his family and friends host separate celebrations. On the fourth day, the actual wedding ceremony takes place. Most Moroccans typically belong to the Muslim faith, in which case the ceremony is performed by an Imam. On the fifth and sixth days, the celebration continues until finally, on day seven, the Moroccan bride goes to her groom’s home. On arrival at her new home, the bride circles the house three times before entering. Figs and raisins (not rice) are showered on Moroccan brides and grooms because these fruits symbolise fertility and fruitfulness. Almonds are also popular at Moroccan weddings because they represent good fortune.

Arranged marriages are not unusual in Egypt, North Africa. Usually the union is between couples from the same background, social class and educational status. The marriage must be approved by both families before a formal marriage agreement is prepared. In fact, African marriages across the continent have 1 element in common…they are first and foremost, family oriented celebrations.

Egyptian marriage agreements, like any legal contract is made up of two parts. The “mahr” or dowry paid by the future groom to the future bride’s family. This dowry is then used to buy furniture and household appliances for the couple. No need for a bridal registry! The second part of the agreement is the “shabka” which is a gift of jewellery given by the groom to his future bride.

Engagement Egyptian style traditionally entailed covering the hands of the couple with a cloth, which meant that they were officially betrothed. It is during this engagement period that the Egyptian bride would receive her wedding ring.

Egyptian bridal preparations in days of old included taking the bride in a silk canopy to a bath house, after which she would be dressed in a red cashmere shawl with a small cap or crown atop her head. Her hands and feet would be decorated with henna.

Moving eastwards to Ethiopia, Jewish Ethiopians mix traditional Jewish customs with their cultural norms. Parents do the match making and manage all courtship matters in their quest for suitable mates for their children. 18 is considered a suitable age for Ethiopian young men to consider marriage, so typically it is the boy’s family that approaches the girl’s family. Once both sets of parents agree that the match is suitable, a rabbi or “cahenet” then blesses the union. Cattle was usually given by the girl’s family to the groom’s family.

Like Moroccan wedding celebrations, traditional Ethiopian weddings also last for seven days. In days of old, the groom and his family would prepare for the upcoming marriage by building a hut, which was then blessed by the cahenet.

On the actual wedding day, a purity ceremony was performed. Like the Coptic Christian ritual, the Ethiopian kesherah is made up of two colours…white, to symbolise the groom’s purity and red to symbolise the bride’s virginity.

Ghanians used to participate in a respectful ritual called “ knocking on the door” whereby a young man’s parents, elders or his mother and siblings would approach a girl’s family, on behalf of the hopeful young man, seeking the family’s permission for their daughter to be courted. In the Asante tribe, money and gifts must be given before the bride was given to the groom. Kenyan grooms on the other hand were traditionally required to pay a bride price. During the wedding ceremony, a Kenyan groom would circle his bride’s wrist with a leather wedding band.

When you research African wedding traditions, you will discover rich and diverse choices for incorporating time honoured rituals from the diaspora into our “brave new world” of modern weddings. May honour and respect, authenticity and relevance guide the choices you make for your special day.

MAKEUP: Ladonna Kong.

» PHOTO: Elise Romany Photography