Ruby Parris Making her mark on life’s stage

“At that age, it seemed more socially acceptable to say I wanted to be a writer whenever family, friends, or acquaintances would ask about my future career,” says Ruby of the shift in interests. Internally, she faced a “battle for truth”; she had always loved English Literature class solely for the curriculum’s plays and the reenactment of them.

It was at The University of the West Indies (The UWI) where she finally blossomed, pursuing a Theatre Arts degree. “The decision to do such was life-changing … and it reaffirmed my belief that this is the path I am to be on.”

This weekend, Ruby stars in the Bagasse Company’s Dan the Travelling Man (final show tonight at the Central Bank Auditorium, directed by Christine Johnston) alongside Aaron Schneider and Philomena Alexis Baptiste (Philo) in her theatrical debut.

According to Ruby, the play is a comedy on “Dan’s twist of fate” when Dan’s many wives from several Caribbean islands coincidentally pay a visit to Trinidad on the same day. “The play is hilarious, it’s women-empowering – with a cast of mostly women, it deals with the ‘taboo’ topic of infidelity, and gives food for thought for those men who genuinely believe they can get away with everything.”

In the play, Ruby plays Cynthia – the “hard-headed”, no nonsense, independent, Bajan woman. “This character and I are both strong women who can smell crap a block away, down the road, around the corner,” she quips of the similarities between she and Cynthia. But while Cynthia is more confrontational, Ruby says in reality she prefers to let bygones be bygones.

She does find that roles for women in theatre in TT are still typified and stereotyped and that rarely do plays with a woman director, producer, and star receive much attention or acclaim.

Describing herself as a passionate feminist, Ruby claims the title that many shy away from and even fear. She explains feminism isn’t about dismissing men’s needs, or saying women are better than men, or even saying men’s voices must be suppressed for women’s to be heard.

“Feminism is the constant fight for equity between women and men, which will lead to equality,” she expands, adding that wanting equal opportunities – and not being denied such based solely on gender – is not something to shy away from or be embarrassed about.

“Not only do I not want to raise children in a society that treats women as lesser than, but I also cannot be constantly living in fear of voicing my opinion against my misogynistic partner, or staying stagnant in a job because I am a woman, and ‘I should know my place’.”

Ruby admits she has experienced sexism within her everyday life; within the industry, in school, and at home. She gives an example of men using some women’s non-confrontational manner to take advantage of them in heightened situations, as opposed to another man who would garner “equal respect”.

She says she is part of a generation of people who feel entitled. “There are too many life examples where boys are taught by the way their fathers treat their mothers, the first matriarch, that women are to be objectified, verbally abused, and disrespected,” she laments of the femmephobic cultures that some young men are entrenched in. She also notes that in other cases, there may be internal disruption based on feelings of abandonment in single parent homes. She points to adolescent years where boys are given more freedom as opposed to girls, with the excuse “he’s a boy.”

“What does that even mean?” says Ruby stonily. “What that tells me is he isn’t going to be attacked, which isn’t necessarily true. It tells me he is more capable of taking care of himself on his own, which isn’t necessarily true!” She believes some parents can take firmer hands in the raising of their sons and instead of only giving them space to rebel, should also offer a safe space for them to air their emotions healthily, rather than repress them to possibly dangerous and violent consequences.

“Obviously, not all men are like this; this isn’t a personal attack on men. It is simply an observation of the constant in the men who disregard women’s lives, bodies, and are misogynistic,” she clarifies.

She says TT has mastered sweeping taboo topics under the rug but believes there are ways individuals and institutions alike can help bring an end to the inhumane inequality of women and the related violence perpetuated against them. Every learned behaviour and ideology starts at home, she says, with the ways parents help their children understand themselves and their emotions, and how those transfer to and affect others. “A home of love creates a child of love.”

She also admonishes that governmental bodies should stop victim blaming and demand that men take responsibility of their lack of control. “Women always blame themselves or (are) being blamed for a man’s reaction but every person is in charge of themselves and how they choose to respond to any situation.” She believes sex education should be made mandatory in nation’s schools – “With that comes the discussion of the word ‘no’” – as well as discussions and education on domestic violence, all forms of abuse, and gas-lighting (manipulating someone into guilt or self-doubt for valid feelings they may have). She advises all: “Don’t run from knowledge because it makes you take personal responsibility.”

She has a passion for equality, equally matched to her passion for life, which inspires her work and her craft. Every person she meets is a character she has or will portray. She tweaks and perfects her characterisation constantly; her goal is that audience members will be reminded of someone they know, or maybe even themselves, within her performance. She describes herself as an observer and her analyses of the lives around her help mould her characters as authentically as possible. She relishes the opportunity to tell someone’s story, whether a family member, classmate, friend, or stranger.

Through authentic work and her progressive ideologies, Ruby hopes to leave her mark in TT – whether by educating others on “taboo” subjects that have been long kept in the dark collecting cultural dust, or through her onstage talent that she has nursed since childhood.

Tonight, she will take the stage for the final show of the first run of “Dan the Travelling Man”. Tomorrow? She may take over the world.