Whither Party Hearty

But nation, today I must share with you the gravest news. I was na?ve. In the near six-year year interval some of our members seemed to have been seduced by the bacchanal that passes for politics in this great nation of ours. Harmony has been replaced by deep discord and we no longer Party Hearty. There are rogue elements in our midst, rogues who waited for me, their leader, to be absent from PH headquarters in Port-of-Spain to launch their coup. I was gone for only one day, but that was all it took for all hell to break loose. It is my belief that the timing of the mutiny was crucial: the first shots were fired no sooner had we completed our screening of candidates.

Nation, it saddens me to have to report that the rogues have formed a breakaway faction, corrupting the PH name and our dream of a peaceful fetetocracy. Calling themselves the Parted Hearty, they hope to confuse the electorate. The cause of the mutiny: some of the PH members were against the creation of a PH Facebook site, accusing PH of selling out to the corporate social media. They wanted an independent blog.

As leader I felt that I should not let my personal dislike of Facebook influence the party?s decision so I withdrew from the discussion, leaving in charge the party?s popular chairman who is also deputy leader of IT affairs and the PH candidate for the Port -of-Spain City Corporation. As soon as I turned my back, the blog faction turned on him.

This group of miscreants now has the gall to steal our constitution while calling itself the conscience of the party and it has posted online a motion attacking the now former PH chairman/deputy leader. It reads and I quote in part, “WHEREAS the tenure of the Party Hearty (PH)’s Deputy Political Leader for Internet Affairs has resulted in the embarrassing launch of a Facebook page on April 23, in the year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Thirteen, which has the tendency to bring the international reputation of the Party Hearty (PH) into disrepute; WHEREAS a group of core grassroots members of Party Hearty (PH) have decided to resign from the party in light of the aforementioned; WHEREAS this group – hereafter the Parted Hearty (PHd) wing – intend to be the ‘conscience of the Party Hearty...”

So you see nation what has transpired. I say to you today, that knowing it might not have sufficient clout to go it solo, PHd intends to keep one foot in and one foot out, use PH ideas while issuing damning releases. Such behaviour is a carbon COPy of one of the country?s political entities and can only bring PH into disrepute. We are known for our limes, not for being a bunch of lemons.

It goes without saying that the egregious attacks on his reputation have prompted the resignation of the aggrieved party chairman who has written to me a pithy letter, the contents of which I now feel compelled to reveal to you. “I have resigned as party chairman and IT specialist. I go remain ah ordinary member. I go hold ah meeting in PoS and buss mark on allyuh leff write and centaur.”

Whither Party Hearty you might well ask. To save the party, I intend to try to mend fences by taking us back to our roots, to a simpler time before Facebook and blogs, when PH handed out pholourie in order to win the popular vote. We have allowed power, fame and the Internet to corrupt our fundamental principles of free for all fete, party and lime and in so doing we may have turned an imaginary party into a real one.

partyheartytt@gmail.com

Facebook address: partyhearty