If only a mother's love could cure

THE ideal Mother’s Day setting for Sandra Elias would be at the dinner table, sitting with her four healthy children, enjoying a meal that each chipped in to prepare, in her own home. The meal must not be lavish, and she need not be the centre of attention. Added to that picture-perfect scenario, hearty laughs between mouthfuls as memories of times past overwhelm the cares of the day. Sandra remains optimistic that that day will come. But, today, the single parent and sole breadwinner in her household has to contend with her reality — maintaining her sanity amid the daily anxieties, and being strong for her children, who constantly look up to her.

For more than ten years it has been an uphill battle in trying to meet the needs of her family on her own. The hardest years, said the divorcee, were putting her children, Omari, 24, Ashaki, 22, and Kele, 19, through secondary school. Peter, eight, was just a baby. At that time, Omari fell ill with a stomach disease that baffled doctors. The sickness brought on bouts of fever, loss of appetite and weight loss. Years later, Sandra learned that her son had become a victim of diseases of the ingestive system, Ulcerative Colitis and Sclerosing. His condition has progressed to such a critical stage now, that doctors are saying that if Omari does not receive a liver transplant soon, he will die. Omari knows it. Sandra shudders at the thought of losing her son. “He always says that the reason he is still alive is because of me. He says that my strength is his strength,” Sandra said.

They have lived in and around Arima for years, moving from apartment to apartment every time the landlord decides to increase the rent or re-invest in another business venture. Currently, they reside in a humble abode in Lawrence Park, Arima. A few months ago, Sandra decided to make public her case in the print and electronic media. “I didn’t know who else to turn to and what else to do,” she said. In the past, she was able to secure loans to cover Omari’s medical expenses which continue to mount. But, the data retriever’s monthly income is not enough to fit all the bills, including a liver transplant surgery abroad which costs US$150,000 (TT$950,000). She experienced some glimmer of hope when actor/comedian Learie Joseph offered to lend assistance in whatever way possible. Learie decided that a show featuring local entertainers would be a start in meeting the cost for Omari’s operation. He knew that securing artistes would have been somewhat difficult since it was the post-Carnival period and artistes usually leave for work up the islands or in the USA. Nevertheless, Learie set his date for what turned out to be a comedy/musical event featuring calypsonians and other artistes.
 
“The response from every artiste I called was favourable. Everybody wanted to perform for Omari and this was done voluntarily,” Learie said. Among the performers were 3 Canal, Brian London, The Shiv Shakti Dancers Jr, Candy Hoyte, Massive X-Calibre, Joseph Rivers and Rhythm and Mood, gospel singers Laura Nicholas, Marcus Gabriel and Kising Chance, Skatie, Blazer, Sean Caruth, Tommy Joseph, Emmett Hennessy, contortionist Anthony Lalla, Damian Melville and Learie Joseph, himself. The empty seats at the Jean Pierre Complex did not break Omari’s spirit. The show went on and up to today, “artistes call him at home and check on him just to lift his spirits. “The concert was almost devastating. If 20 people showed up at the show, that was plenty,” Sandra revealed. “We didn’t sell as much as 100 tickets but I must thank all of the performers who were there for Omari.”

The Omari Williams Fund, account number 180462111831, was also set up at Republic Bank Ltd and to date, contributions to the tune of $35,000 have been made. “I had gone in to Republic Bank to get a list of all the names of persons who have contributed, but I was told that some of the contributions were made anonymously, and that for each name recorded I would have to pay a sum. But I want to say a special thanks to all the people who have supported thus far and all who continue to support. “I am appreciating every bit of assistance. I know we are a long way off (from meeting the cost of the surgery) but we are trusting and hoping in God that everything works out. We not giving up.” Via the Internet, Sandra discovered the Georgetown Hospital in Washington, DC, which she was told is known for having one of the best liver disease clinics in the USA. “My Mother’s Day wish is for me to get enough money for Omari to do the surgery and get better, and that everything would work out...and he would be able to function better.” Omari, on the other hand, wants his mother to enjoy life. He doesn’t voice it much, but he sometimes feels he is the cause of her troubles. He wants to help out.

Omari can barely walk on his own. His daily ritual, however, begins with a dose of pain-killers to ease arthritic pain in most of his joints. After his recent visit to the doctor, he was put on steriods and has gained a mere ten pounds on his small frame. “The last time I checked I was 105 pounds,” he said. He hadn’t seen what his hometown of Arima looked like in a long time. Recently, he acquired crutches and can slowly hop around from room to room at home. When he isn’t resting in bed, Omari’s entertainment is limited to viewing the television. He was recently invited to a sports day in the area and in South Trinidad, which he intends to attend. “The doctor said I need to move around a bit.”

He enjoys cradling his nephew, Ashaki’s firstborn, Christian, who is five months old. “Ashaki, Kele and Peter have all been accepting of our situation. None of my children have ever rebelled in any way. They have been good. I really thank God for them. My children are my joy,” said Sandra. She pointed out various qualities that endear her to them: “Omari would take control of things. He is like the boss. He doh tolerate foolishness. Ashaki would deal with the business. She would check up on our finances and take control of things like that. Kele...he’s a loving child — a bit miserable and playful, but loving, and Peter, he is just spoiled. I think that when Peter was born, it was a great joy to them. The three of them grew up together and never had a baby around and they were always there for him. He (Peter) was a blessing.

“My children are like a constant hope. I more or less have built my life around them... I enjoy just being home with them, watching movies with them or simply talking. We talk a lot. I understood that raising them would mean the need to make sacrifices, and I have gone without. Apart from seeing Omari in his condition, my major hassle is not having a home of our own — having to pay lots and lots of rent. We have been doing that forever, but we are surviving.” Her greatest satisfaction? Sandra said: “For my children to remain humble people and do the best that they could with their life and when it’s their turn to help somebody else, that they do so; to always remember people no matter what; and that they remember what they have been through, wherever life should take them.”

Learie and other concerned citizens are planning to stage a walkathon as part of a series of events to raise funds for Omari’s surgery. After the publication of Omari’s story, the Arima Basketball League contacted Sandra and, today, will stage a charity tournament at the Arima Basketball Court at 6.30 pm as part of their contribution. Participating teams are Defence Force, National Flour Mills, Marabella Raptors, Courts Horizon and Arima All Stars. Entrance to the event is $5.