Winning the guest list wars

ASK most newlywed couples what issue sparked the most controversy during their wedding planning and most of them would undoubtedly tell you it was the guest list. Communication, diplomacy and compromise are truly put to the test on this issue since fortunately or not, everyone in your family circle will feel their input counts. However, it is the general rule, that whoever is hosting the wedding (the couple or their parents, both the couple and their parents, or another relative) determines the number of guests that can comfortably be afforded. Considerate hosts will try to allocate an equitable share of the guest list. The final guest list should represent a balanced view of people, from the couple’s lives.

A few things can help hosts determine the number of guests — naturally the budget, the formality of the wedding and the capacity of the reception area. Generally, gu-est lists are categorised under: relatives and their children, friends, co-workers, business associates, neighbours, parents’ friends and any applicable wedding suppliers. A good starting point may be to draw up a “wish list” of wedding guests. The “wish list,” as the name implies, could include everyone you wish you could invite. This list could then be subdivided into a “people we must invite” list and a “reserve list” which would include the remaining names. Once you send out invitations, and begin receiving RSVPs, your primary list will be whittled down, which will allow you to select guests from your “reserve list.”

Many couples forget to add their ceremony officiant and wedding suppliers (such as photographer, videographer etc), to their guest list. Once you will be catering for someone, they should be on the guest list. This would help later on with the invitation, catering and wedding favour budgeting. Single friends do not necessarily have to be invited with a date. This decision is entirely up to whoever is hosting the wedding. However, the host may want to consider inviting a date for a friend who is in a long-term relationship or engaged. As a rule of thumb, persons you invite to your pre-wedding celebrations, bridal shower or bachelor party should also be invited to your wedding. Remember that your guest list will never please everyone! Your ultimate goal should be to enjoy and celebrate your wedding day by surrounding yourself with loved ones and people who care about you.